Wednesday, May 6, 2015

Burning Red - 1st draft

Burning Red
I scratch the skin underneath my sleeve.  This thing is the most uncomfortable clothing I’ve ever put on my body.  I make a face at my tailor Justin.
“This one irritates my skin, got anything else?”
“Well,” he stubbles over his words, as if he’s nervous about something, “I do have one more in the back that would fit you perfectly, but it’s a bit pricey.”
“Bring it out here, no price is too big.”
He turns and walks out of the room, closing the door behind him.  I look at the mirror at the far wall, admiring myself.
“It doesn’t even matter what I look like,” I say to myself “she’s the one everyone’s going to be looking at, and they should!  Her beauty is none that I’ve ever seen.”
There’s a knock at the door with a small voice saying,
“I’ve got the suit for you, sir.”
“Don’t be shy now, bring it in!” I yell with excitement.
He walks in with his hands shaking.  In his hand is the most unique suit I’ve ever set my eyes on.  The color glistened in the light while the white lining complements the charcoal black smooth fabric.  I walk over to Justin and take it from his hands, admiring the way it feels.  I stare at it for a second.
“This is perfect! Why didn’t you bring me this one an hour ago?” I ask, still looking at the suit.  He mumbles words I don’t understand before saying,
“I have my reasons, I guess you could say.” He stares down at his feet.
“I’m going to try it on now.”
I turn over to the dressing room which is only really a long piece of fabric covering a corner.  I slip into the jacket and pants.  They slide onto my body as like they were meant to be on me.  I finish getting dressed and walk out to where Justin is standing, still staring at the ground.
“How does it look?”
He looks up at me, “perfecto”
Beep! My watch goes off.  I look down to see that it is 5:30.
“Oh no! I’m going to be late, I have to go!” I look over to Justin, “how much is the suit?”
“It’s uhh – umm,” he stubbles over his words again.
“Come on now, spit it out!”
“I – ee – uhh, it’s on the house!”
“Really? Wow, thanks Justin! I’ll bring it back as soon as I’m done with it though, without a scratch on it.” I smile at him.
“I’m not worried about that.”
I look at him puzzled, about to ask what he means by that when my watch buzzes again.
“Okay, now I’ve really got to go, see ya later!”
I pick up my clothes and run out of the store feeling great.
I make it to the church just in time.  Everyone is still being seated, while the priest stands at the end, with the bible in his hands.  I see my mother and jog over to her.
“Hi Mom,” I say smiling.
“Oh there you are! I thought you weren’t going to make it.  Love the suit by the way.”
“Thanks Mom and yes, I love it too.” My watch buzzes, “okay, I’ve got to get up there.”
“Okay sweetheart, good luck!”
“I don’t need it, I’m marrying the girl of my dreams today.” I grin at her.
Everyone goes quiet.  I see my soon to be wife’s family sitting in the front row.  Her mother comes out of the entrance of the church and quietly walks over to her sister, whom is sitting next to their dad.  He sits down with a shaking smile.  I’m about to question the nervousness on her face when the music starts.  My niece Jessica starts to walk down the aisle in her little pink dress, picking up flower pedals from the white basket that is almost bigger than her and throwing them onto the ground with a big smile.
That’s when I see her.  She is at the end standing with her father, smiling.  Or at least she looks like she’s smiling.  “Here Comes The Bride” begins to play as her father loops his arm into hers and they walk down the aisle in a timely manner.  As she gets closer, I can see her smile fading.  She looks as though she is nervous or scared about something.  She pauses at the end of the aisle and just looks at me.  Her father kisses her cheek and walks over to her mother, who has the same face as my almost bride.  I put out my hand and the moment she touches it, a shock shoots through my body.  I shake it off and look at her with a smile.  She seems to be calm now, her smile is back on her face and she’s looking straight into my eyes. 
The priest starts to mumble with words I’m not familiar with, just how Justin was before.  He looks at my beautiful fiancé and finally speaks words I recognize,
“Do you, Amelia Day Sunbird take Sam Junior Johnson as your lawfully wedded husband, to have and to hold until death dues you part?”
She looks at me with stars in her eyes, a smile on her face and says,
“I don’t.”
Everyone behind us gasps.  I look at her with shock as red hot pain shoots through my body.  My heart starts to race when she looks at me,
“Wait, did I just say I don’t? But I don’t!”
As each “don’t” comes out of her mouth, my heart burns with more pain.
“Sam, I love you! I don’t know why I can’t say I do!” she pauses, “I don’t!”
Tears starts to form in both our eyes when she picks up her dress and runs out of the church.  I try to call after her but I can’t.  The burning sensation in my chest becomes overwhelming.  I start to go after her but my eyes blacken and I fall to the ground, feeling nothing but pain.
I wake up to the sound of the wind blowing against trees.  I blink my eyes open to see the faded blue sky above me.  The world around me is silent.  Am I dead?  I lift my head up to notice I’m lying next to a building on a muddy parking lot.  Where am I?  I start to get up when I hear a car pull in.  The engine cuts off as I move around the corner to get a look at it.  Nothing is strange about.  It’s green and most definitely old.  The paint is peeling on the sides and the tires are worn out.
I start to walk over to the old green car when it hits me.  That’s Amelia’s car.  I think about moving my feet but they stand still.  My mind is blank and unable to think.  I see her in the car with her long white dress filling up the entire front seats.  She moves her head, a giggle?  What could she possibly be laughing about?  Before I know it, my legs are moving and I’m close enough to touch the car.  I slide my fingers across the rusted metal.  I meet the window and see her head on the head rest with her eyes closed.  I tap gently on the glass to wake her up.  She jumps, startled.  The car turns on with the engine starting up.  The windshield wipers begin to slid back and forth at a very fast pace while the car alarm echoes through the trees.
She opens the door to get out.  Her eyes are buffy with black all underneath and her hair is tangled in a blonde mess.  She looks at me with sadness as she begins to talk.
“How did you find me here?” She says with uncertainly.
I think about the question for a second before I answer because I have no idea how I did.  I eyes wonder and I see the words “Joe’s Diner” printed largely on a poster behind her.  That’s what I remember that this is where I first kissed her.  I look back at her and say,
“Don’t be stupid Amelia, this is where I first kissed you.  I knew you would be here” I look down at my shoes.  “Can you tell me what happened back there?”
“I’m sorry! I don’t know what got into me!” She looks down at the ground.  “I love you so much, I don’t understand why I couldn’t say I do” she looks up “Well, I guess I can say it now!”
            “I love you too, my darling.  Maybe you were just scared.”
            “Maybe.”
I start to walk towards her, she screams,
“Oh no, not again!” she looks down at her hands, which are glowing a very bright white color.
            “No Sam! Stay back!” she yells at me.
I stop and look at her hands before looking back at her.
“It’s okay baby, I can help you.”
Before I could take another step, the glow hits me and I am thrown backward into the fence behind me.  All I feel is pain.  It burns all over my body until I feel nothing.  The last thing I hear is Amelia scream before I pass out.
I wake up still in the broken fence matter.  I look up to see Amelia on ground clenching her face as her body glows a familiar white color.
“Amelia?”  I yell to her.
She looks up with tears still running down her face.
“Sam?”
She starts to stand up to face me.
“Sam, your skin.”
I look at her puzzled.  What about my skin? I look down to see it is glowing also, but red.
“Amelia, why am I glowing?” I say concerned.
Before she could speak, a red sports car races into the parking out.  It stops right before me and Amelia.  The door opens and a man appears.  He turns to face me.
“Justin? What in the world are you doing here?”
He walks over to me and takes my arm.  I am dragged over to Amelia.
“I have some explaining to do.”
His speech is perfect with no mumbling.  I take Amelia’s hand, which is still glowing.
“The day of your wedding is supposed to be perfect.  You finally marry the love of your life, but for you two, it’s different.  For you two, it’s when your true powers are revealed”  He starts to walk back and forth with his hands behind his back.  “You two were destined to be together the day you were born.  You are what these people call “Soul Mates.” 
He quotes his fingers around the word soul mates.
“What do you mean by, “These people?” Amelia asks.
He stops walking and looks at her, “you will understand soon.”
He begins walking again. 
“A long time ago, two very high up powerful people made a deal to keep the peace in this world.  The first born girl of one and the first boy of the other would marry, and luck would have it, the boy and girl were born only a few years later.  They were both sent to earth to find each other on their own, so it wasn’t forced.”
“Justin, can you cut to the chase because this is making no sense.” I say confused.
“Alright, but first, my name isn’t Justin.”
“What is it then?” Amelia says with her voice shaking.
“My name is Jesus and you Amelia, are my sister.”
“What?” Both Amelia and I say together.
“Are you implying that Amelia is the daughter of God?”
“The only full blood child of God besides me, yes.”  He looks at us, “but, of course everyone is technically a child of god, but Amelia and I are the only ones who started out in heaven.”
“What about me?” I say.

“Oh yes,” he pauses, “You Sam are the son of Lucifer.”   

5 comments:

  1. Dana! Oh my gosh!!!! This is so amazing and I'm so happy with where you decided to take it! The other story makes more sense now! The only thing is that I think you should add more to make it a complete story. I feel like there's more so you're kind of leaving me feeling unsatisfied. I'm left with more questions than answers. All in all wonderful plot and foreshadowing with Justin/Jesus, I thought it was a well executed first draft. <3 XOXO

    ReplyDelete
  2. I notice mostly grammatical errors (some are probably typos). It reminds me of the movie "Constantine." I don't think there is enough explanation of the deal. To me, it seems like a first chapter. I'm not sure if that's intended or not. I agree with Kayla that it doesn't quite seem complete. Remember that this needs to be able to stand alone!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. You're right, I feel as there is some things left unsaid, thank you! I will fix that

      Delete
    2. Cool. Also, is this what you had planned since the beginning? If so, wow. Just wow.

      Delete