Link to Full Version of "Remember"

For those of you wanted to read the full version of my story, "Remember," here's the link: http://www.wattpad.com/132623895-remember-the-keepers-remember
If that doesn't work, you can go to wattpad.com and search my username, starriskies.
-Regan

Prose Draft: Remember

Okay, this is sort of long, but I'd really like some feedback on this.  Thanks.

-Regan

Remember 

I lose my footing on the slick rocks and feel the icy chill of the water burn against my skin.  The water settles around my knees, and someone calls out to me. 

“Are you okay?”  Her voice is small and shaky, resembling the ringing of a bell.  The speaker can’t be more than five or six years old.   

“Yeah, I’m—”   

The water shakes, pushing and pulling around me in gentle motion, practically at a stand-still.  It shouldn’t be this calm.  It settled at my knees.  It had been coursing downhill before.  Something isn't right. 

It’s her. 

Running my fingers over the surface of the water, feeling for rocks, I wade across the stream.  “What’s your name?” 

“T—Talise.  W—what’s your name?” 

I step out of the water, feel my way to a rock, and sit down.  “Well, Talise, I’m Aden, and I’m— I’ve been looking for someone, and I think you might be her.” 

“Wha—” 

“Do you know what a Keeper is?” 

“No?” 

“Well, Keepers are sort of like guardians.  Our job is to protect people with special magic only we can control.  And when one of us dies, a new Keeper is born.  I—I think you might be the new Keeper of Water.” 

"The new...?  How do you know?" 

"Do me a favor, Talise.  Look at the water.  Do you see it moving?"  I hear the motion of the stream, almost flowing normally, but not quite there. 

"It's water.  It's supposed to do that." 

"Can you make it stop?" 

She pauses before saying no, and that's all I need to know she's lying. 

"Do you think I won't believe that you can control the water?  Because I will.  I can do the same thing.  But with fire, not water." 

"You can?"  

"Yeah.  You wanna see?" 

"Uh huh." 

I hold my hand out, palm facing up, and concentrate until I feel the heat hover above my skin.  The fire is extinguished by Talise's gasp. 

"See?  You aren't alone," I say, turning the corners of my mouth upward in the motion I know to mean happiness that I can offer but can never see. 

She pauses, and then her little voice comes back at a whisper.  "Yes, I am."  The seriousness weighs down her voice, pulling the bells into thick mud that makes it impossible for them to chime. 

"What's wrong?" 

"Nothing."  There's a lowness in her voice that could only mean she's looking downward. 

"You can tell me.  Hey, who would I tell?" 

She starts sniffing, and her voice shakes as she speaks.  "It's just...  Daddy would be mad if he...if he found out about...about the magic.  Daddy doesn't...l—like m—magic." 

"Hey, you don't need to cry.  It's okay.  He doesn't have to know.  It can be our secret, okay?"  

"O—okay," she says with another sniffle.  She pauses before I feel her small hand grab mine.  "Come with me." 

I stand and go with her, feeling the trees around me with my free hand as she guides me away from the stream, now flowing naturally. 

"Where are we going?" 

"Can't you see the house?  It's all lit up, see?" 

"No,  I can't see." 

"Huh?  Are the trees in the way?" 

"No.  I'm blind, Talise.  I can't ever see." 

She freezes.  "You mean you've never seen anything at all?" 

"Yes." 

"Oh." 

"It's okay.  Really.  I didn't even know I was blind until I was about six-years-old.  Before that, I didn't realize anyone could see." 

"Really?"  She sounds fascinated. 

"Yeah." 

The wind brings a chill to my wet skin, and we start walking again. 

"So, we're going to your house?" 

"Uh huh.  Daddy won't even notice you're there.  He's too busy with meetings to notice anything but work," she says unhappily. 

"Your father's a member of the Royal Court?"  

"How did you know?" 

"My father's a member, too.  Or, at least, he used to be.  I'm familiar with the Court's workings." 

"Used to be?" 

"Yeah.  He retired a few years ago.  My sister took his place." 

She doesn't respond. 

"We're almost there.  This way," she says, turning left.   

Extending my right arm, I can feel the stone walls of the house as I brush my fingertips against it.  Not far ahead  of me, Talise opens a door with a slight creak, still holding my left hand. 

I step into the house, and hear the water droplets hit the floor as the door squeaks shut. 

"I'm taking you to the basement, okay?  This way."  We walk a few steps, before she places my hand on a wooden rail.  "Go down the stairs and wait for me there.  I'll be back soon." 

I hear her quick footsteps against what must be stone flooring and up another set of stairs as I carefully take my first few steps downward. 

I don't have to wait long at the bottom of the staircase before Talise comes down. 

I can sense a small fire, probably a lantern or a candle.   Somehow I've always been able to tell when there's fire nearby.   

"Come this way," she says, taking my hand and leading me further into the basement.  "No one really comes down here anymore.  Before Daddy had the separate house built for the farm workers, they used to sleep here.  There's a bathroom over here."  She puts hand on the door knob so I can feel where it is.  "Here are some towels and some of Daddy's old clothes.  You're still all wet from falling in the water.  I'll wait out here." 

"Thank you." 

I open the door and step into the room, closing the door behind me.  I feel my way around the little room and sit down.  I start to dry the hair my father would complain is too long and start to hum a tune that I don't have to welcome into my head. 

"What song were you humming?" Talise asks when I step out of the bathroom. 

"It's an old lullaby someone taught to me a long time ago." 

"Who?" 

"Her name was Ava." 

"Is that your sister?  The one on the Court?" 

"No.  She was the nurse that took care of me when I was little.  She'd had a blind son that died before I was born, so she knew how take care of people that can't see." 

"Will you teach me her song?" 

I smile.  "Tomorrow." 

"Okay."  She sounds slightly disappointed.  "There are still some beds over here."  She guides me to one where I can sit down.  "I also brought you some food.  Here."  She puts something smooth and cold into one of my hands and something soft in the other.  "Good night," she says, the bells back in her voice as she starts to walk away with the little fire she'd been carrying. 

"Good night," I whisper even though she's already too far away to hear.  

I can't think of the last time I've had bread.  It's probably been since before I started my search.  It may not be a meal, but the apple and bread Talise gave me is more than I could have hoped to have today.  I feel a twinge of guilt accepting them, but they were given, which is more than I can say about the fruit I've taken from orchards in the past weeks when I've been lucky enough to find them. 

I don't realize how tired I am until I'm falling asleep, drifting into shapeless dreams.  Voices drift through my mind as I sleep, keeping me from peaceful rest. 

"It's your fault Mom's gone." 

"She would still be here if you had never been born.  Things would be better." 

"Yeah, Aden.  Dad's right." 

"Get out of my sight." 

"Don't listen to them.  They just miss your mother is all." 

"What was she like?" 

"I never met her, but she must have been nice to have a sweet boy like you." 

"What about Marian?" 

"Your sister was a lot nicer before.  She's just having a hard time." 

"Ava?" 

"Yes?" 

"Is it my fault?" 

"No, sweety.  Of course not." 

I wake suddenly, sweating.  I pull myself out of the bed and feel through my pockets before remembering these are the pants Talise gave me.  I feel around for the ones I wore before and find a string to tie the hair off my neck.   

I don't bother going back to bed.  I don't know what time it is, but I'm not tired anymore.  I don't think I could sleep if I were.   

I hum to myself to pass the time before I hear Talise coming down the stairs. 

"Aden?"  

I hear her walk closer. 

"What are you doing over here?" 

"Nothing."  

"Do you want to go outside?" she asks.  "It stopped raining.  Will you teach me the song while we're out there?" 

"Sure." 

I stop counting the days after three.  Everyday, we go outside, we talk, Talise describes what she sees to me and I try to imagine it, we laugh.  And I almost forget why I'm here.  

"Aden?" 

"Yeah?" 

"I picked you a flower.  I know you can't see it, but you can smell it, right?" 

Smiling, I answer, "Yeah, I can still smell it." 

"Here."   

She presses the flower into my hand.  It's soft petals tickle my skin, and I lift it to my nose.  It smells the way a home should feel--warm, inviting, kind.  In a way, it smells like this small girl that's offered me everything she can. 

"It'll wilt, but this way you can take it with you for a while.  They aren't as pretty when they die, but--" 

"I don't think dying makes anything less beautiful." I turn the thought over in my head.  "I can't see it either way, but I think, maybe a thing becomes more beautiful when it dies.  I think memories do that to things that die.  Once something dies, you remember how great it was, and somehow it seems even better than it seemed before." 

"Do remember someone like that?" 

"Yeah.  I remember Ava."  I wipe away the tear that slips from my eye before she can notice it.  "What color is the flower?" 

"It's pink," she chimes happily.   

I try to imagine pink, but I can't.  Color is something I may never understand.  It makes me think of clouds, which confused me for years. 

"I like the way pink smells," I finally say. 

Talise's laugh is even more bell-like than her voice. 

It makes me want to stay when I know that I can't. 

"Aden?"  Talise comes to meet me like she does everyday. 

I kneel down beside her.  "Talise, I know I haven't taught you much of anything, but I have to leave.  Someone very bad is coming for me, and if he gets you too...  Do you remember what I said about Keepers protecting people?  Well, this one is hurting them instead, and someday, you'll have to stop him.  And you can.  His name is Cole, and he's the Keeper of Darkness.  Can you remember that?" 

My heart breaks as she starts to cry.  "I--I don't want you to go."  She wraps her little arms around me.  "Please, stay." 

I return her hug, forcing back my own tears.  "I wish I could, Talise." 

Her shoulders shake and she sniffles loudly.  "W--where are you going?" 

A tear breaks through my shield.  "I'm going home."  I don't tell her that she's given me more of a home than my family ever gave me, constantly shoving blame onto me. 

"Can I come with you?" 

"Talise, you're not safe with me." 

"But I'll miss you!  You're the only friend I have." 

I won't tell her I'll come back because it's a lie.  Things won't be the same ever again.  No matter where I go, Cole will find me, and he won't let me live.  Talise will never see me again.   

"You won't be alone forever," I say.  "You'll find the other Keepers.  Air, earth, light, and...fire." 

"B--but you're the Fire Keeper." 

"I know, Talise."  I shouldn't cry, but I don't think I can prevent it much longer.  "Listen, Talise.  You are already the most amazing Keeper I've ever met.  I know you'll protect everyone you can.  Just remember that that's what you do.  You're Talise, and you help people.  Okay?" 

Talise sniffles.  "Now drift to sleep, and when you wake, remember me," she quotes.  Ava's lullaby.   

The words break the barriers built against tears.  "Thank you, Talise.  Goodbye." 

 I find my own way out of the house on my own, just like I'll find my way to the city. 

I can hear Cole approach in the night long after Father and Marian have gone off to bed. 

"Aden." 

"Cole." 

"Did you find my sister's replacement?" he asks in a voice that should have sharp corners.   

I smile but give him not verbal answer.  "Mirilla was hardly your sister." 

"Nevertheless, I killed her.  And Moria.  And Alloy.  And, now, I'm going to kill you." 

"Why are you doing this?" 

He spits his answer at me like it has a bad taste.  "This world is rotten and broken!  It says I'm the one that needs to change, but it's wrong!" 

I think about his answer as I wait for his strike.  I won't sense it coming; his attacks come not only from the shadows of the world but also from the shadows of one's mind, making them nearly impossible to predict and bringing harsh strikes of emotional torment with them. 

Cole has been feared since he was a child.  It doesn't surprise me that he's been broken by it. 

A sharp pain starts in my back and twists itself like a knife.  I can feel the blood start to soak threw the back of my shirt.  

"You have no right to pity me," Cole says angrily.   

I start to cough up a thick liquid that must be my own blood as I start to fall down.  I'm dying.  It almost doesn't seem real, but I know that if I want to say something, I have to say it now. 

I'm not even sure if Cole is here anymore.  For as long I've known him, he's had a way of slipping away without making a sound.  I put my hand into my pocket and feel the crumbling edges of the flower Talise gave me.   

"Can't you see it, Cole?"   

Now drift to sleep... 

"Even I can see..." 

...And when you wake... 

"...that we've already won." 

...Remember me.